July 21st, 2008

Today I experienced a phenomenon that had yet to happen in my short life.  For years I've been searching, wandering aimlessly in hopes that a true soul mate would enter my life and bring me unconditional happiness.  Yet, up until this point I've been left empty hearted and lonely.  Until today.  This day.  This magical God graced day!  My eyes glanced...and within only a moment, my luck had changed.  For there...was she.   Given to me not only by Thee Ted Smith and Ben the Psycho Muppet, but by the gods of love, as well.  Her name is Pamela.  And she is my love.  Next year, if her aspirations become a reality, she'll become a KISW Rock Girl.  Here are some photos of my adoring love and me.



July 17, 2008

Everyone knows that the regular callers on my show aren't necessarily ordinary.  However, to poke fun at them is stepping over the line.  When I post photos of what could be potential sightings of Leonard, I do it entirely as a public service.  For if we here in the Pacific Northwest should encounter an episode of environmental terrorism, well, it affects me as it does all of us.  So, I feel it's my duty to take part in this search for the missing link.  But to poke direct fun at Monica is another story.  It's just childish, insensitive, and it's not funny.  Whatever it is that this next photo implies, I wish for you, like a responsible jury, strike it from your memories immediately.  I have posted this photo just as an example of irresponsible journalism.  Please refrain from any more sophmoric attempts at comedy in my Giant, Juicy, Jiggly Kickblog.  Thank you for your cooperation.


July 16th, 2008

The search for Leonard is an exhaustive one.  And now, we've taken upon ourselves the unfortunate duty to search for missing Black Hawk Helecopter the crashed last week due, allegedly, to the toxic emissions from Leonard's contaminated butt crack and jaundice yellow toes.  The Black Hawk disappeared without a trace.  And Operation Eye In The Sky, God rest his soul, deserves a proper burial.  Therefore, in my quest for justice, I've deployed my own personal watercraft to seek out the remains of this chopper that met it's untimely demise.  The foul works of Leonard can never be underestimated.


July 15th, 2008

We have a bit of an issue with The Ted Smith.  You see, any red blooded man with a pulse would jump at the opportunity that I've presented to "the other guy from The Men's Room", but Ted has reservations.  I proposed to him, on air yesterday, that he sould accept the invitation to join me on the most VIP yacht at Seafair next weekend.  It will be stocked with tan, drunk, twenty-something chicks in bikinis--and there won't be many guys.  The owner of the boat inquired to me as to whether Ted would fit in, if he could handle the marathon of all day drinking in the sun, and whether, or not, he would scare away the pussy.  Ted has taken it upon himself to look introspectively and "get back to me" on this issue.  Would you need to "think" about it?  I think he'll maintain, but the question is whether Ted thinks so.  What should I do.  "Hey, Ted, you're on the fricken' clock, Dude?"  Geez Louise...

July 14th, 2008

You may have heard this Gangster who calls into the show named Jim Davis.  He's the caretaker of Jimi Hendrix's childhood home which sits across the street from Jimi's memorial in Renton Highlands.  Jim was kind enough to grant access to me when I had a hometown friend visit from Tampa.  It's an honor to be able to take someone from out of town to the resting place of Jimi and even more of an honor to show them his childhood home.  Afterall, he was the pioneer of Seattle rock music--all rock music to many.  And here, I've posted the photo that my friend sent me that he embellished with some groovy colors as we were standing around the tombstone of Jimi's mother in the same cemetary.  That's me on the far right.


July 10th, 2008

I chose the Foo Fighters.  It was closer to the crib and I felt like gettin' AFTER it!  Not to mention, I've still got Cruefest and Pain in the Grass at the White River Amphitheater later in the summer.  And the Foos always play a blistering set--last night being no exception.  In fact, Dave Grohl always tells stories of when he lived in Seattle.  The best at Key Arena this time  was how he and his buddy Ernie (now his guitar tech) spray painted Foo Fighters on the mural on the side of Tower Records.  You see, it was of the new Michael Jackson album "His-story" and it stated with special guests Mariah Carey, Boyz to Men...and Dave and Ernie spray painted Foo Fighters.  Then Dave posed for a photo from Ernie's polaroid camera.  Then Ernie punked him by sliding the photo under the front door.  It was 3 a.m.  A week later, the photo was in a local magazine.  Anyway, I took it upon myself to share the experience with you by taking some shots.  I was on the floor and they had a catwalk leading to a circular stage toward the back.  Dig it.



Oh, and I decided to throw in a photo of my hairdressers Pug in her Halloween costume for the hell of it...her name is Pepper.


July 9th, 2008

Today is a great day in the Pacific Northwest.  This is the exact day that we wait for all winter long.  And I'm not just referring to the weather.  Yes, it's an elegant day with the temperature outside at a perfect 78 degrees.  There's a light breeze that has cleared out any chance of clouds that may have hinted at blocking the magnificent sun.  It's a blissful day, weather-wise.  However, today, there's more.  There is a choice of 2 major gatherings of which many of your bretheren Rockaholics will be attending.  At the White River Amphitheater you have the Mayhem festival which promises to be a hard rockin' affair featuring Slipknot and Disturbed.   At Key Arena the Foo Fighters, one of the greatest live bands in rock today, will be taking their genuine, honest approach to entertaining a massive crowd to the stage.  Both are sure to be quality.  It's a day of choices.  You see, even if you choose to stay home and bask in the afternoon sun with an ice cold beer on your favorite chair, you still have made a choice.  And that's juuuuuuust fine. (Thanks Neil Peart).

July 8th, 2008

The story of Leonard's toxic hairball has taken a further step in the danger that it imposes.  A team of professionals are on the incident that may have caused the crash of the Black Hawk Helecopter.  The pot is beginning to boil and, Leonard, the recipient of all this media attention, is surely to stand accused of a heinous violation when this all settles.  Here's the message sent with this photo:

Update on Leonard's hairball. It has safely arrived at a undisclosed location for Haz Mat And DNA testing. It was flown from Fort Lewis and was escorted by three fighter jets and a stealth bomber. Upon completion of the testing it will be returned to Washington state and buried 200 feet below sea level at again a undisclosed location. For public safety it must be buried in a bunker with 16 foot think concrete walls. The hair ball will be safe and will be guarded 24-7 by military personel. At such a time that Leonard is ever captured his DNA could be matched to the hairball.



July 7th, 2008

We did not hear from Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady today.  She was last heard from last week when she announced that she may be going into rehab due to an over-indulgence in the goody-goody.  So, the question is, "Is that the reason for Monica's disappearance?"  Or, is there something else going on that we're not aware of.........


July 3rd, 2008

Happy Independence day, Gangsters and Gir's!  The following is a letter sent to me from a Rockaholic named Pedro.  This is serious as it pertains to the dangers of having Leonard, the missing link, on the loose.
 

Pedro has pass away... possibly the first fatality of the fearsome dreaded Leonard' funk disease.

The microscopic particles of ass sweat and toe fungus stuck in the nasal canal of Pedro. could have been the cause of death... we will see what the coroners report say's.

While shopping at the Safeway yesterday I came about this discussing hairball in the urinal at Safeway. I purchased a box of rubber gloves..And put three on each hand ...Then I went outside and got a long stick.  I fished the nasty hairball out and had it incased in plastic. It is now being sent to the national DNA testing lab.

It was shipped in a two foot thick concrete box for safety… it could be deadly if it got into the wrong hands of a terrorist etc.…who knows what deadly virus could get loose. It is being guarded by the FBI and a team of undercover secret service guards.

The hairball is believed to have come from Leonard... Take note of the un-digested Salisbury steak and the corn pieces in the hair ball... should Leonard ever be captured the hair ball could be released for DNA matching, or if the pubic hair that was found gets DNA tested than a match could be made.


July 2nd, 2008

I just returned from vacation.  I ventured down to Los Angeles because some Gangsters won a contest (10 Hugantic Ballers) to fly there on Virgin America and join me for a Dodgers game.  It was one of the oddest games I've witnessed.  The Angels threw a no hitter but lost the game 1-0.  It was 2 errors back to back and then a sacrifice fly that allowed the game's only run to score.  Anyway, we had a kick ass time, hammered numerous beers and pounded several Dodger Dogs during the outing.  I brought sir Isaac Lime as my guest and attatched a photo of us at a house party in the Hollywood Hills as well as a photo of the field.


June 24th, 2008

We're all aware of my love for a certain entertainer in the world of music and it is with great disdain that I have to announce some very disappointing news.  It pains me greatly to speak of the severe loss that I've experienced upon reading this news and I found it extremely important to share with you, just in case you had plans to attend his Seattle show.  Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.  I'm going to cry now.

 

Bad Karma? Boy George Banned in the USA

06/23/2008 8:32 AM, E! Online


Call it tit for tat: Fresh off of the U.K.'s denial of entry to Martha Stewart, the U.S. has banned Boy George from its shores.

Somehow, it doesn't quite feel like a fair trade.

The "Karma Chameleon" purveyor has been refused a visa for the U.S. leg of his summer tour, which was to include a special performance for his former colleagues at New York's Department of Sanitation, over complications arising from the singer's criminal past and pending his London trial this November.

If they really wanted to hurt him, it's a job well done.

George's rep said the singer was "devastated" he would not be able to play in the States for what would have been the first time in a decade, but that his legal team is working hard to get clearance for the '80s icon to convince officials for a do-over decision.

"George is astounded at the decision and is having lawyers here in the States look at it in the hope that someone will change their mind," the singer's management said in a statement. "George has not been convicted of anything in London and there is a presumption in the Western World of innocence until proven guilty."

The singer, whose full name is George O'Dowd, pleaded not guilty in February to falsely imprisoning a male escort, who claims the star chained him to a wall in the singer's London apartment. He was released on bail pending this fall's trial.

"He is clearly not considered any form of risk," his management said. "George really would love to come to America and repay his American fans' loyalty, and that is why we are asking the U.S. authorities to reconsider their decision."

June 23rd, 2008

Last Thursday I was scheduled to host the Big Baller's First Grab for tickets to Pain in the Grass 2008 at Sharkeys Pub in Sumner.  Well, on the way to the gig, I experienced a bit of a bumpy while rollin' down the I-5 corridor.  I said to Sir Isaac Lime, who happened to be in my rig with me, "Gee Isaac, this road sure is bumpy."  To which he relied, "Unusually, indeed."  It was right about that time that we realized that I had a flat tire.  Great.  I've got a gig and I'm going to be late.  So, I waste no time in pulling over and dismantling my custom stereo cabinet to be able to reach the spare tire, only to find that somewhere in the installation process, my jack had been jacked!  There was a crobar, a lug nut screw, but no jack.  Suddenly, look who pulls up behind us, but Johnny Lawficer.  Who surprised us by offering to change the tire for me after he brought out his own jack!  So, for this fantastic service, I have to throw hunormous props out to the Washington State Patrol, especially an officer named George, who helped me get to the gig faster and with much cleaner hands.  Big Ups!
This is a photo of an old banana that someone threw out of their car.  Ss you can see, it is not fresh.


June 19th, 2008

I'm worried.  Very worried.  It has come to my attention that Leonard may be having more of an impact on people than we first imagined.  Certainly, we never expected for Leonard to become the pop culture phenomenon that he has grown to be in his present existence, but now I fear that people may be easily influenced by his celebrity and overlook the dangers that this toxic avenger poses.  Should Leonard's well being become such a hot issue to the public, he may eventually be seen as a representative that stands for a cause that people deem relevant and we may run into serious political ramifications once we capture him.  Not that we're already going to have to battle with members of the SPCA, but revolutionaries, too?  This is turning into a situation that could explode into a bonfire of the vanities!  I've included an example of one of Leonard's many influences.



June 18th, 2008

Pearl Jam has been playing some shows as of late and, most unfortunately, none are in the Pacific Northwest.  So, as you may know, I'm from Tampa, Florida.  Where they just played a show on the 13th.  Of course, all my buddies were there and one, Mark Gonzalez (a great mother f***er), had the courtesy of brotherhood to send me a photo he took of Eddie up close.  I decided to use this blog entry to share that photo with you and post the set list, as well.  If we can't be there, it's nice to know we've got someone who's keeping us in mind.

Set 1	Sometimes, Corduroy, Why Go, Severed Hand, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Marker In The Sand, Light Years, Down, Wishlist, Given To Fly, Daughter, Even Flow, Present Tense, Insignificance, Better Man, Do The Evolution
Encore 1	Nothingman, Black, Life Wasted, Porch
Encore 2	You've Got To Hide Your Love Away, Alive, Yellow Ledbetter

June 17th, 2008

Since i posted the photo of Monica that was airbrushed to look angelic, (as if she was a classic virgin posing for an advertisement for fresh, bedsheets) I've had a number of inquiries asking for her hand in holy matrimony.  Amazing how one photograph can change people's perception.  Which makes me think, do we really want to see what Leonard looks like?  Will we be disappointed only to find that the Missing Link isn't as mysterious as we had expected, or that he's much more handsome than first anticipated.  Ahh, but I digress...the lonely soul interested in the affections of Monica, the Rubber Chicken Lady.  His name is Christopher Garrison:


June, 16th, 2008

 It seems that we may be crossing paths and the search for Leonard may have been busted wide open.  Upon further investigation, it has been brought to my attention that there was something overlooked in this delicious photograph of Monica the Rubber Chick Lady.  If you use your investigative skills, you'll notice that Leonard has apparently been hiding under Monica's bed!  Something is very creepy here...and we need to get more information from Monica herself, who is at home recovering from surgery, resting for her Pudding Wrestling Championship coming up with the Rock Angel.




June 12th, 2008

Today on the air I spoke of the improvements that had been made to Monica's naked photographs.  And, although, there is a disgusting picture, unfortunately, sandwiched between the two displays, you'll see the brilliance that transpires when a photograph is improved by a graphic designer.  Did I say sandwich?  Ewwwwww...


June 11th, 2008

What you are about to see is disturbing.  If you are faint of heart, or have a weak stomach, I urge you to click out of this page immediately and return tomorrow.  What you are about to witness is necessary for those interested in the safety of this countr...planet.  With the most recent developements in the search for the missing link, aka Leonard, all safety measures have to be practiced and every potential hazard must be taken into account.  If we are to locate and sequester this public nuissance, we should keep in mind that the loss of life is not necessary.  If left to the professionals, we should have success in this matter and the culprit at hand will be quarantined and kept out of harms way for the general pubic...I mean public.  However, it is imperative that we're are aware of what it is we are dealing.  And the following photograph is an example of the magnitude of danger which this potentially radioactive threat poses.  Should this poisonous creature escape from West Seattle, well, we can only imagine the amount of toxicity that will be leaked into the environment.  The following is a photograph of the jaundice yellow toenails and oyster shell feet of Leonard, the missing link.  This is NOT a dramatization!



June 10th, 2008

A little is not enough.  Due to the amount of e-mails and calls I've received from the public, it is apparent to me that Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady is extremely popular.  And the nude photo's posted yesterday was not enough.  So I reached into my personal folder of letters and pictures that I've been saving to start the Monica Fan Club and pulled out a gem.  Yes, some photos sent to me a couple months back of Monica impersonating a dolphin on a trampoline.  Priceless.

June 9th, 2008

As people from around the globe wait with baited breath, many of whom are listeneing online at KISW.com, it is at this time that I give you what has been promised;  nude pictures of Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady!  Of course, seeing that we are an establishment of good taste, these photos expose nothing that you can't show the kids.  What is exposed, indeed, is one very prominent Red Hot Chili Peppers tatoo above the left breast.  As you may have heard her announce, she did shave her head and took the opportunity to provide a photo with what she imagines herself to look like with long, flowing locks of blonde hair.  Enjoy!


June 5th, 2008

Last night was the Rock Girl Gala and it served as a precurser to the Pudding wrestling championship between Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady with Tinkerbee against the Rock Angel and The Monica Hater.  This was totally unexpected.  You see, Monica had announced that she wouldn't be attending the Gala.  However, when she showed up, it was the perfect opportunity to become familiarized with her tag team partner.  The two quickly became friends and vowed to wow the crowd.  Here is a picture of Tinkerbee.  Get a good look now, because next time there will be massive amounts of pudding involved.  Oh, and I almost forgot, NAKED PICTURES OF MONICA ARE SOON TO FOLLOW!


June 4th, 2008

The search continues.  These graphic photographs were snapped by a professional private investigator who thought he had taken pictures of Leonard, only to find that the subject was not hairy enough, or smelly enough.  This is obvious because of the lack of fumes exhausting from the buttocks and foot area.



June 3rd, 2008

As we prepare ourselves for the Rock Girl Gala tomorrow, our focus on our most important task at hand has not wavered.  Just as the FBI has posted police sketches of what the missing link, aka Leonard, may appear to look like, I have taken the task of  providing a similar service.  For anyone with an ounce of curiosity, here is a potential  body double that may aid you in this search when combing the frozen freezer isle of safeway, or ordering two tacos for 99 cents at Jack in the Box.


June 2nd, 2008

I have some disturbing news to report.  You may have heard last friday that the Black Hawk Helecopter that was seeking a photograph of Leonard did, in fact, have great fortune in the search for the missing link.  They had their sights narrowed in on the West Seattle region of the Jack in the Box near the Safeway on 41st and California Avenue, when a breakthrough was discovered.  What they thought was a Bear rummaging through the garbage turned out to instead be, none other than, Leonard!  Immediately, they prepared their ropes and readied to repel onto the street with the regular caller who has his sign that reads FREE HUGS under one arm and his boombox under the other with a CD of Creed's "With Arms Wide Open".  His dream, of course, is to give Leonard a Big Sexy man hug.  Unfortunately, just as they pulled their infra-red cameras from the case, the toxic emisions from leonards feet and ass and breath and underarms began to foul the air filters and the Black Hawk went immediately into SOS mode.  And that was the last we heard from them.  They haven't been heard from since, but one photograph was taken and it is posted here.  We can only hope for the best at this point.  One thing's for certain, the rare opportunity of a photograph of Leonard, the missing link, was lost.



May 29th, 2008

We have a new inductee into the crazy world of Reality Radio.  Of course, you and I are both aware that there has been a battle of words brewing for some days now between Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady, Tinkerbee and the Rock Angel.  However, yesterday, a caller who we gave the name Monica Hater to, expressed her dislike for the person herein described.  She announced that she would join the Rock Angel in the kiddie pool for the tag team Pudding Wrestling Championship to take place at Key Arena.   Then, today, Monica retaliated by calling her boring and fat.  Well, Monica Hater, not one to be outdone, sent her picture in today with a note for the Rubber Chicken Vixen.  And I posted it here for you to view with the accompanying message.

This is Tera, aka monica hater! Wtf is wrong with that bitch and her irrational fear of that chicken! Tell her to bring it!


May 28th, 2008

Once again, the missing link, also known as Leonard, has led us astray with one of his cunning diversions.  There was the Caped Crusader, hot on his tracks.  The DNA evidence that he found on the floor of the frozen freezer isle of Safeway was proven to be some leftovers from Jack in the Box that had passed through a human digestive tract.  However, as you can see from this photo, Leonard was actually in Taco Bell at the time that the Caped Crusader had a rendvous with Operation Eye In The Sky to repell down from the Black Hawk Helecopter and get the elusive photograph of this strange, Salisbury Steak eating species.  His tactics are that of a seasoned escape artist much like Houdini and the Birdman from Alcatraz.


May 27th, 2008

As a true Hugantic Player, a Gangster who always takes the consideration of his Broskies into account when the issue of Baby Gir's comes about, it is my distinct pleasure to share a few experiences with you.  Certainly, you've heard Rock Girl Finalists on my show the past week, or so, but you wonder what they look like outside of the canned photo shown on our website.  So, it is my joy to show you the photographs that have been taken upon our unwanted parting.  It's all good, my loss is your gain.  They'll be in attendance for you to see for yourself at the Gala next wednesday.


May 22nd, 2008

The battle is definately heating up.  Today the Rock Angel a was quite displeased to hear that Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady would be taking part in this pudding wrestling championship which was supposed to be between just her and Tinkerbee.  But, as we've all seen before, wrestling isn't always fair.  One never knows what to expect when in the ring.  A chair could come flying out of nowhere, or an unexpected opponent could come sliding onto the canvas for a quick tag.  Just as the Rock Angel figured it'd be an easy victory over the diminutive Tinkerbee, Monica comes to the rescue for some back-up.  How will the Rock Angel respond?  We'll probably find out tomorrow.

May 21st, 2008

It was only moments ago that I entertained my first Rock Girl Finalist on the air and, to say the least, I'm quite impressed with the first pass through the studio.  So much so, that I came immediately to my computer to record these emotions of which I presently write.  What a temptress.  Her name is Cassandra and I'm keeping my fingers crossed in a minor attempt to add to the positivity that could possibly help in her quest to become a representation for this world class rock station.  She had great ass.....ets.  You know, like she was cool as hell, a rockin' body and long, flowing hair.  A former Hooters girl.  so to see her and the remainders that will be popping up on the air for the next week, or so, head to KISW.com to get in on the action.  And then we'll see you at the 2008 Rock Girl Gala!

May 20th, 2008

We all love a good catfight.  And it looks as if we've conjured one up here on the show.  Of course, it all starts when one chick starts shit with another chick.  Some women just can't keep their trap shut without insulting someone and the woman, in this case, who did just that is the Rock Angel.  And as a stand up individual, Tinkerbee defended herself.  But it didn't really hit high gear today until Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady called and said they were both unworthy of being on the radio becuase of their lack of interesting personalities.  We'll find out tomorrow whether, or not, this will indeed end in a pudding wrestling tournament.  The game is afoot!

May 19th, 2008

What a great weekend.  Sunny, hot, kickballs everywhere.  In fact, the Trash Hauler called in today as he was driving a big rig complaining that he wasn't in a good mood because the Trashy got a little too sunburned from being out in the boat fishing.  Trash Hauler announced that he felt all prickly and itchy and he wasn't in a good mood because of this inconvenient nuisance.  Well, this all outlines one fact.  That there is now a white line around the Trash Hauler's neck from the area that the necklace covered.  The necklace that holds the ring with the elvish inscription.  You see, the Trash Hauler is the protector of the ring for the well being for all of us.  And the elements, be them rain, snow, or extreme sun, will never cause the Trash Hauler to deter from his mission.  Let's give it up for the TRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH HAAAAUUUUUULLLLLEEEERRRR!!!!!!!

May 15th, 2008

You may have heard that I'm playing a role in a movie.  It's an independent film being shot in and around the Mt. Vernon area.  The storyline involves a conflict of the most prominent group of vampires and how they intend to solidify the existence of their kind.  I play a guy named Gardner who gets made into one of them and is at odds about whether, or not, he is content with his new transformation.  He will, eventually, have to choose sides and he misses his human ways of chasing women and getting hammered.  The film is directed by an up and coming, very talented local actor named Shawn Cain and nearly the entire cast was flown in from Los Angeles.  I'll post some pictures soon to give you an inside look of the cast and sets of this indie film that is scheduled for a Halloween release.  In the meantime, you can find it on myspace at www.myspace.com/lovedonesfilm.  Happy hunting!

May 14th, 2008

A new, very important developement in the automobile accident of South African Max.  It has been reported by the driver of the vehicle himself, South African Max, that the reason for his accident was due to the fact that  he had to make a split second swerve to avoid hitting a very large animal that had been crossing the road.  He accounts that the type of animal was very difficult to make out in his headlights, but that it did drop some feces due to the surprise of the possiblity that it may be hit by a speeding car.  Upon investigation by the Caped Crusader, it has been determined that those droppings were remnants of Frozen Salisbury Steak, Gravy, macaroni and cheese, and apple cobbler.  One onlooker did happen to snap a photograph of a very suspicious person lurking around the wrecked vehicle.  If you have any leads on who this mysterious subject might be, please contact South African Max.


May 13th, 2008

This is my favorite time of year.  Not only is summer just around the corner, but everything that is forthcoming with the summer months exemplifies how we like to live our lives.  Warmth, sunshine and chicks.  And we're not fools.  We have a kick ass radio station.  We're gonna use it to our advantage and, of course, share with our friends.  So we incorporate the hottest baby gir's we can find in the pacific northwest and bring them to all of our events for you to get to know.  It's paramount, though, that we find the right ones.  And for that, we call out to you.  We need for you to inform us which chicks you want to get to know better.  We've got an assload of their pictures posted at www.KISW.com, so go vote now and let's get AFTER it at the Rock Girl Gala, Gangster!

 May 12th, 2008

I'd like to introduce you to one of my most frequent callers, South African Max.  You see, South African Max was a junior in high school last year and left for a semester in South Africa to study abroad.  He would call High Noon on a regular basis to take an exhausting bong hit from his dormatory at around 10pm in Whereverthefuck, South Africa.  Then South African Max returned home and was most recently seen attending my April 20th gathering at Jimi's Memorial.  He was the one that showed up with a Hooka and some opium burning in it.  Last week, South African Max called in from the quad at his high school while blazing on acid.  Today, he called to inform me, from the Indiana Jones pinball game there on campus, to tell me of the unfortunate happenings over the weekend.  You see, South African Max, a very scrawny, pimple faced, extremely white young man,  had a slight mishap in his vehicle.  I get the feeling that South African Max will not live a long life.


May, 8th 2008

Well, it seems as if we're being toyed with.  After many different accounts of being told that he has no interest in being on the Price is Right, Leonard has been spotted (allegedly) at an actual taping of said show.  It certainly does make sense, though, since Leonard has repeatedly voiced his displeasure of Drew Carey taking over his favorite television show.  As you can see here, this picture shows the Missing Link in action, hazing Drew from the front row.  One thing is for certain, we can not underestimate the cunning wit of this species that has repeatedly deterred our efforts to locate him.




May 7th, 2008

Big ups to the Gangster who represented at the Pyramid Ale House last weekend as my Big Baller , Kevin O'Keefe won a contest to pour his own brew on site.  The brew was a fantastic Pale Wheat and according to the brewmaster, should be on tap soon at the Ale House.  As you can see, the Rubber Chicken was in the area...but where was Leonard.  No one knows......


May 6th, 2008

People have often asked me who my idols are in life.  And I can attest to having many.  In fact, if I had to choose one, I don't think I could.  My moods and championshipisms change on a regular basis.  Therefore, it's pretty evident that the people in show business that I idolize are rarely the same from day to day.  And the decision can only be made at the specific time that the question is asked of me.  And at this precise moment, it's Arnold from Different Strokes.


May 5th, 2008

So, Friday, we received our quarterly ratings for the Seattle market and I'm glad to announce that KISW had a huge day!  Everyone around this place made a few extra bucks, so out we went for a night on the town compliments of Sgt. Hairclub.  And needless to say, we got AFTER it.  I mean, it was a decent get together with a few cocktails going down in a somewhat mild atmosphere.  That is, until the Men's Room arrived.  Of course, at that time, the party got elevated to a whole new level.  We raged.  And then I slipped out at about 10 o'clock because my Gangster, Steve Venom, was departing on a booze cruise with 120 chicks and 75 guys out of Lake Union.  I couldn't pass up the opportunity, so I drove with one eye closed to the departure point and proceeded to get AFTER it.  Eventually, the booze was dried up and from that point on, I don't really remember how I got there, but I did end up in some bedroom in Shoreline with a couple Baby Gir's.  So, if anyone's seen a pair of black Calvin Klein underwear, please send them to the station because I didn't stick around to look for them.

May 1st, 2008

You didn't know I was a business entreprenuer, did you.  Well, a convenient store in the midwest thought it would be beneficial for their chain of stores to give them a good gangster name.  They thought about all the Hugantic Ballers in the world.  They hammed and hawed about the most prospective name that would ensure massive success, bringing people from around the globe for the Ginormous Gangster benefits that would befit them in accordance to their most accomodating franchises.  And after very little consideration, the choice was obvious.


April 30th, 2008

I almost forgot to tell you about one of the dopest events I've attended in a long time.  I mean, I've never been to a Monster Truck event, a Drag Racing event, a Stockcar racing event, etc...  Saturday, however, I checked out the Supercross live from Qwest Field.  And I wasn't quite sure what made it so super until the final race which went down in the history books as one of the best ever.  In fact, one of my close Gangsters, Todd Carlson, who works at Car Toys at Southcenter Mall, races supercross and confirmed that it was one of the top ten races he'd ever seen.  He even raced in one of the warm up races that night--said it was a very difficult track.  I'm a little closer to becoming an avid fan of motorsports now after that beer drinking, kickball viewing night in the cool Seattle air.


April 29th, 2008

A person's birthday is a special day.  That's why one should spend it with family and friends.  I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive because not only do I get to spend it with these select people, but also with my friends on the other side of the radio transmitter.  100,000 plus.  Thanks for being there on this kick ass day.

Ricker, Mouse, Sticky Icky Ed, my cousin Robert, Big Reg, Nowhere Man, Trucker (cougwear)

April 28th, 2008

This is a very important time in the history of this country.  Decisions that are made now will have a resounding effect on the future of this great homeland we so fervently love, the United States of America.  That's why I urge you all to not only vote, but vote with a clean conscience.  Vote with your heart.  It's not the issues of health care and foreign affairs that are so important during this time of economic uncertainty, but the issues of happiness and culture.  That's why I endorse Sticky Icky Ed for President of the United States of America.  Sticky Icky Ed promises that no bread box will go without a bag of chronic and that no bud will be clipped before it's time.  These are staples to a sound campaign.  It's time for a change.  It's time for Sticky Icky Ed.


April 24th, 2008

We have new evidence on the possible whereabouts of Leonard.  I received a call today from the Caped Crusader who has been integral in this investigation.  He has confirmed that, indeed, as predicted, there has been a pubic hair recovered from the checkout counter at the Safeway grocery store located on 41st and California ave.  It was there that Leonard ALLEGEDLY read a National Enquirer magazine with the interest of getting ideas of how to disguise his identity by seeing pictures of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.  As we all know, Leonard has a rip in his jeans, so this exposure is what allowed the hair from the pubic region to escape his body onto the floor.  It is the Caped Crusader's intention to match this DNA to that from the sample of gravy that passed through the human digestive system that was found on the frozen freezer isle floor of that same store in hopes that the 2 correlate.  If so, we could have confirmation that Leonard was purchasing Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners at a specified time and this will help us deduce which section of film to break down from the surveillance cameras that have been put into place.  This, as you can see, is serious work.  No one ever said it would be easy to uncover the identity of...The Missing Link.

April 23rd, 2008

Well, while you were watching the NBA basketball playoffs on sunday, I was hanging with many a Gangster and Gir'.  And for your viewing pleasure, the final installment of many of the people as seen through the camera lense with me on the inside of it, capturing an element of one's personality in a mere second...


 Topshelf!                                                                  The Way High Window Guy!

Ben from the Quah and the Way Low Window Guy,

April 22nd, 2008

You'll have to excuse me, I'm still a little buzzed from the 420 celebration.  In fact, I was so lit up that I borrowed the camera from the Way Low Window Guy to commemorate the experience through my own eyes.  The vision that I undertook is shown before you like an art gallery display, each person's personality shown through the shutter of a moment's capture.  Keep in mind, everyone is ripped.  I'll post the final pictures tomorrow!

What's he listening to?

(from left) Sticky Icky Ed, Seeing Eye Dustin, Blind Melon Chitlan, Me, Topshelf

Rich the Gardener

April 21st, 2008

Yesterday was the day.  The sacred day of unity and true celebration of the alternative culture of marijuana.  For those of you that are confused, 420 is the international code number for firing up the chronic.  And April 20th is the day on which all involved celebrate the ceremonious communion.  And the minute of 4:20 is the sacrimonious time.  In the following photo, you'll see that this momentous occasion was practiced with many Gangsters and Baby Gir's as I hosted the event for the 2nd straight year at Jimi Hendrix' memorial in Renton Highlands.  If you'd like to see last year's gathering, just scroll down a very long way.  Otherwise, you'll see similarities to this years group photo, just about twice as many people.  More to come in tomorrow's blog entry!


April 17th, 2008

Well, we certainly do have the right man for the job.  I mean, as if he's not busy enough fighting crime in and around your neighborhoods, but our hero is hot on the tracks of the Missing Link.  Otherwise known as Leonard.  And I do mean HOT on the tracks as, it seems, Leonard has left behind some hot tracks of his own.  It was this evidence of some spilled gravy on the floor of the frozen freezer isle at Safeway that has been photographed and recovered by none other than...The Caped Crusader.  He has taken the evidence and put it through an intense evaluation system.  And the results are alarming.  This patch of spewed gravy did, indeed, pass through a human digestive tract before being drizzled onto this most unfortunate floor.  And I think we all know who the culprit is...


April 16th, 2008

Many of you heard today on the air that Leonard is becoming more and more agitated with the prospect of his discovery.  What else would one expect from The Missing Link.  Considering that it could have been 40 years since anyone recognized him and that he could come from a long heritage of these species that have yet to be discovered, it is to be expected.  The anonymity of this elusive creature, however, is soon to come to an abrupt stop as Leonard's identity will almost certainly be revealed.  In fact, today, the Caped Crusader called in with an account of a potential sighting at the Safeway store located on 41st and California in West Seattle.  And here is the result of his perfectly positioned surveillance camera.


April 15th, 2008

Everyone that listens to my show knows that I have a certain appreciation for a specific species that roams the terrain, looking to feast on the flesh of a younger man in is twenties, or early thirties.  This species of wild animal is notorious for several features that separate it from others amongst the competition.  These features are easy to assertain as this animal is not shy about exposing it's true nature.  Some of the features consist of a stretched face like the characters in the Soundgarden Black Hole Sun video as well as collogen lips, a fake tan, a big diamond ring on the left finger, and a $350 hair style.  Also, the species makes a particularly, unmistakable sound.  This species is a COUGAR..........RRRRWWWWWAAAAAAAWWRRRRR!!!!!
http://video.aol.com/video/tv-the-cougar-den-saturday-night-live/2105888

April 14th, 2008

Today is a great day.  I mean every day is a great day if you're happy to just be alive, but some days tower over other days for the mere fact that something ginormous is happening.  And today, something ginormous is definately taking place.  You see, today is the offical kick off of Two Legged Dear Hunting Season.  Ah, well, I see you are confused.  Let me simplify this for you.  Today is the day that we officially kicked off the KISW Rock Girl Search.  Yes.   And I have attatched a photo of a baby gir' I ran into saturday night in a club who announced her desire to be a KISW Rock Girl.  Her name is jen.  Good luck, Jen.  By the way, I'm hammered in this photo after a long day of snowboarding.  I should have already been in bed, but you know how it is...


April 10th, 2008

It seems that yesterday's post has helped us make some progress in this important search for the missing link.  Immediately, we've had possible leads of IT'S whereabouts.  No clue, or lead, can ever be determined as eroneous when such an elusive entity is at large.  In fact, this photo posted here is evidence that, even if this isn't Leonard, he is having a major influence on the amount of Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners bought from Safeway.


April 9th, 2008

The elusive qualities of the missing link can never be underestimated.  We have tried arduously to track down the animal known as the "Leonard", but to no avail.  The search  has led us to a very frustrated place where now a bit of desperation is beginning to become apparent.  Which has led us to explore many different avenues that we may have previously overlooked.  The next step in this process is to distribute flyers, post wanted signs on telephone poles and we've even created a design to print on t-shirts that we plan on giving out at a local "where's Leonard" fundraiser to help pay for the costs of a private investigator.  I've taken the liberty to show you the design for the t-shirt here.  We appreciate any leads can send our way.


April 8th, 2008

This entry is for anyone who ever believed that Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady was a fake.  It was at the Mariners opening day broadcast that Glen the Toolbox from the BJ Shea Morning Experience videotaped this excerpt of Monica doing her thing.  You'll see, first hand, that there is no faking whatsoever.  She does, indeed, nearly have an orgasm when she hears loud noises.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNiVGiicbNE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5CxdRaBwgU

April 7, 2008

I write this entry with a massive infliction.  The infliction, was indeed, self induced.  So I blame no one, but myself, for the pain and suffering I have incurred on this monday.  For this past weekend, Las Vegas, Nevada, was my place of unrest.  And I have the pictures to prove it.  So I shall let them do the talking because, God knows, I'm in no shape to instead write the 1,000 words.  Now, where the hell did I leave my camera...hmmm. 


April 3rd, 2008

Monday was opening day of Mariner's baseball and we threw quite a rager at the pyramid alehouse and brewery.  It's always fun to get AFTER it with my Gangsters on site and all the pictures are posted at KISW.com if you wanna see what you missed.  However, two of the elusive photos that didn't make it cam from my personal camera and I've taken the liberty to include them here for your private viewing.  One is of the Way High Window guy doing what he does best, which is displaying his voyeuristic tendencies on Monica The Rubber Chicken Lady's big, fat, giant, juicy, jiggly Kickballs.  The other is Sir Isaac Lime with the president of the Sir Isaac Lime Fan Club.  Enjoy!


March 27th, 2008

sometimes, I like to share letters from my listeners.  Especially, when they have great ideas that pertain to the show.

Hey Ricker,

2 things. It would be fun to do Extreme Makeover The Leonard edition. Go over to his palce, hook him up with a new sound system, new TV, New furniture, bed, maybe some sheets and a freezer full of