May 15th, 2008

You may have heard that I'm playing a role in a movie.  It's an independent film being shot in and around the Mt. Vernon area.  The storyline involves a conflict of the most prominent group of vampires and how they intend to solidify the existence of their kind.  I play a guy named Gardner who gets made into one of them and is at odds about whether, or not, he is content with his new transformation.  He will, eventually, have to choose sides and he misses his human ways of chasing women and getting hammered.  The film is directed by an up and coming, very talented local actor named Shawn Cain and nearly the entire cast was flown in from Los Angeles.  I'll post some pictures soon to give you an inside look of the cast and sets of this indie film that is scheduled for a Halloween release.  In the meantime, you can find it on myspace at www.myspace.com/lovedones.  Happy hunting!

May 14th, 2008

A new, very important developement in the automobile accident of South African Max.  It has been reported by the driver of the vehicle himself, South African Max, that the reason for his accident was due to the fact that  he had to make a split second swerve to avoid hitting a very large animal that had been crossing the road.  He accounts that the type of animal was very difficult to make out in his headlights, but that it did drop some feces due to the surprise of the possiblity that it may be hit by a speeding car.  Upon investigation by the Caped Crusader, it has been determined that those droppings were remnants of Frozen Salisbury Steak, Gravy, macaroni and cheese, and apple cobbler.  One onlooker did happen to snap a photograph of a very suspicious person lurking around the wrecked vehicle.  If you have any leads on who this mysterious subject might be, please contact South African Max.


May 13th, 2008

This is my favorite time of year.  Not only is summer just around the corner, but everything that is forthcoming with the summer months exemplifies how we like to live our lives.  Warmth, sunshine and chicks.  And we're not fools.  We have a kick ass radio station.  We're gonna use it to our advantage and, of course, share with our friends.  So we incorporate the hottest baby gir's we can find in the pacific northwest and bring them to all of our events for you to get to know.  It's paramount, though, that we find the right ones.  And for that, we call out to you.  We need for you to inform us which chicks you want to get to know better.  We've got an assload of their pictures posted at www.KISW.com, so go vote now and let's get AFTER it at the Rock Girl Gala, Gangster!

 May 12th, 2008

I'd like to introduce you to one of my most frequent callers, South African Max.  You see, South African Max was a junior in high school last year and left for a semester in South Africa to study abroad.  He would call High Noon on a regular basis to take an exhausting bong hit from his dormatory at around 10pm in Whereverthefuck, South Africa.  Then South African Max returned home and was most recently seen attending my April 20th gathering at Jimi's Memorial.  He was the one that showed up with a Hooka and some opium burning in it.  Last week, South African Max called in from the quad at his high school while blazing on acid.  Today, he called to inform me, from the Indiana Jones pinball game there on campus, to tell me of the unfortunate happenings over the weekend.  You see, South African Max, a very scrawny, pimple faced, extremely white young man,  had a slight mishap in his vehicle.  I get the feeling that South African Max will not live a long life.


May, 8th 2008

Well, it seems as if we're being toyed with.  After many different accounts of being told that he has no interest in being on the Price is Right, Leonard has been spotted (allegedly) at an actual taping of said show.  It certainly does make sense, though, since Leonard has repeatedly voiced his displeasure of Drew Carey taking over his favorite television show.  As you can see here, this picture shows the Missing Link in action, hazing Drew from the front row.  One thing is for certain, we can not underestimate the cunning wit of this species that has repeatedly deterred our efforts to locate him.




May 7th, 2008

Big ups to the Gangster who represented at the Pyramid Ale House last weekend as my Big Baller , Kevin O'Keefe won a contest to pour his own brew on site.  The brew was a fantastic Pale Wheat and according to the brewmaster, should be on tap soon at the Ale House.  As you can see, the Rubber Chicken was in the area...but where was Leonard.  No one knows......


May 6th, 2008

People have often asked me who my idols are in life.  And I can attest to having many.  In fact, if I had to choose one, I don't think I could.  My moods and championshipisms change on a regular basis.  Therefore, it's pretty evident that the people in show business that I idolize are rarely the same from day to day.  And the decision can only be made at the specific time that the question is asked of me.  And at this precise moment, it's Arnold from Different Strokes.


May 5th, 2008

So, Friday, we received our quarterly ratings for the Seattle market and I'm glad to announce that KISW had a huge day!  Everyone around this place made a few extra bucks, so out we went for a night on the town compliments of Sgt. Hairclub.  And needless to say, we got AFTER it.  I mean, it was a decent get together with a few cocktails going down in a somewhat mild atmosphere.  That is, until the Men's Room arrived.  Of course, at that time, the party got elevated to a whole new level.  We raged.  And then I slipped out at about 10 o'clock because my Gangster, Steve Venom, was departing on a booze cruise with 120 chicks and 75 guys out of Lake Union.  I couldn't pass up the opportunity, so I drove with one eye closed to the departure point and proceeded to get AFTER it.  Eventually, the booze was dried up and from that point on, I don't really remember how I got there, but I did end up in some bedroom in Shoreline with a couple Baby Gir's.  So, if anyone's seen a pair of black Calvin Klein underwear, please send them to the station because I didn't stick around to look for them.

May 1st, 2008

You didn't know I was a business entreprenuer, did you.  Well, a convenient store in the midwest thought it would be beneficial for their chain of stores to give them a good gangster name.  They thought about all the Hugantic Ballers in the world.  They hammed and hawed about the most prospective name that would ensure massive success, bringing people from around the globe for the Ginormous Gangster benefits that would befit them in accordance to their most accomodating franchises.  And after very little consideration, the choice was obvious.


April 30th, 2008

I almost forgot to tell you about one of the dopest events I've attended in a long time.  I mean, I've never been to a Monster Truck event, a Drag Racing event, a Stockcar racing event, etc...  Saturday, however, I checked out the Supercross live from Qwest Field.  And I wasn't quite sure what made it so super until the final race which went down in the history books as one of the best ever.  In fact, one of my close Gangsters, Todd Carlson, who works at Car Toys at Southcenter Mall, races supercross and confirmed that it was one of the top ten races he'd ever seen.  He even raced in one of the warm up races that night--said it was a very difficult track.  I'm a little closer to becoming an avid fan of motorsports now after that beer drinking, kickball viewing night in the cool Seattle air.


April 29th, 2008

A person's birthday is a special day.  That's why one should spend it with family and friends.  I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive because not only do I get to spend it with these select people, but also with my friends on the other side of the radio transmitter.  100,000 plus.  Thanks for being there on this kick ass day.

Ricker, Mouse, Sticky Icky Ed, my cousin Robert, Big Reg, Nowhere Man, Trucker (cougwear)

April 28th, 2008

This is a very important time in the history of this country.  Decisions that are made now will have a resounding effect on the future of this great homeland we so fervently love, the United States of America.  That's why I urge you all to not only vote, but vote with a clean conscience.  Vote with your heart.  It's not the issues of health care and foreign affairs that are so important during this time of economic uncertainty, but the issues of happiness and culture.  That's why I endorse Sticky Icky Ed for President of the United States of America.  Sticky Icky Ed promises that no bread box will go without a bag of chronic and that no bud will be clipped before it's time.  These are staples to a sound campaign.  It's time for a change.  It's time for Sticky Icky Ed.


April 24th, 2008

We have new evidence on the possible whereabouts of Leonard.  I received a call today from the Caped Crusader who has been integral in this investigation.  He has confirmed that, indeed, as predicted, there has been a pubic hair recovered from the checkout counter at the Safeway grocery store located on 41st and California ave.  It was there that Leonard ALLEGEDLY read a National Enquirer magazine with the interest of getting ideas of how to disguise his identity by seeing pictures of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.  As we all know, Leonard has a rip in his jeans, so this exposure is what allowed the hair from the pubic region to escape his body onto the floor.  It is the Caped Crusader's intention to match this DNA to that from the sample of gravy that passed through the human digestive system that was found on the frozen freezer isle floor of that same store in hopes that the 2 correlate.  If so, we could have confirmation that Leonard was purchasing Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners at a specified time and this will help us deduce which section of film to break down from the surveillance cameras that have been put into place.  This, as you can see, is serious work.  No one ever said it would be easy to uncover the identity of...The Missing Link.

April 23rd, 2008

Well, while you were watching the NBA basketball playoffs on sunday, I was hanging with many a Gangster and Gir'.  And for your viewing pleasure, the final installment of many of the people as seen through the camera lense with me on the inside of it, capturing an element of one's personality in a mere second...


 Topshelf!                                                                  The Way High Window Guy!

Ben from the Quah and the Way Low Window Guy,

April 22nd, 2008

You'll have to excuse me, I'm still a little buzzed from the 420 celebration.  In fact, I was so lit up that I borrowed the camera from the Way Low Window Guy to commemorate the experience through my own eyes.  The vision that I undertook is shown before you like an art gallery display, each person's personality shown through the shutter of a moment's capture.  Keep in mind, everyone is ripped.  I'll post the final pictures tomorrow!

What's he listening to?

(from left) Sticky Icky Ed, Seeing Eye Dustin, Blind Melon Chitlan, Me, Topshelf

Rich the Gardener

April 21st, 2008

Yesterday was the day.  The sacred day of unity and true celebration of the alternative culture of marijuana.  For those of you that are confused, 420 is the international code number for firing up the chronic.  And April 20th is the day on which all involved celebrate the ceremonious communion.  And the minute of 4:20 is the sacrimonious time.  In the following photo, you'll see that this momentous occasion was practiced with many Gangsters and Baby Gir's as I hosted the event for the 2nd straight year at Jimi Hendrix' memorial in Renton Highlands.  If you'd like to see last year's gathering, just scroll down a very long way.  Otherwise, you'll see similarities to this years group photo, just about twice as many people.  More to come in tomorrow's blog entry!


April 17th, 2008

Well, we certainly do have the right man for the job.  I mean, as if he's not busy enough fighting crime in and around your neighborhoods, but our hero is hot on the tracks of the Missing Link.  Otherwise known as Leonard.  And I do mean HOT on the tracks as, it seems, Leonard has left behind some hot tracks of his own.  It was this evidence of some spilled gravy on the floor of the frozen freezer isle at Safeway that has been photographed and recovered by none other than...The Caped Crusader.  He has taken the evidence and put it through an intense evaluation system.  And the results are alarming.  This patch of spewed gravy did, indeed, pass through a human digestive tract before being drizzled onto this most unfortunate floor.  And I think we all know who the culprit is...


April 16th, 2008

Many of you heard today on the air that Leonard is becoming more and more agitated with the prospect of his discovery.  What else would one expect from The Missing Link.  Considering that it could have been 40 years since anyone recognized him and that he could come from a long heritage of these species that have yet to be discovered, it is to be expected.  The anonymity of this elusive creature, however, is soon to come to an abrupt stop as Leonard's identity will almost certainly be revealed.  In fact, today, the Caped Crusader called in with an account of a potential sighting at the Safeway store located on 41st and California in West Seattle.  And here is the result of his perfectly positioned surveillance camera.


April 15th, 2008

Everyone that listens to my show knows that I have a certain appreciation for a specific species that roams the terrain, looking to feast on the flesh of a younger man in is twenties, or early thirties.  This species of wild animal is notorious for several features that separate it from others amongst the competition.  These features are easy to assertain as this animal is not shy about exposing it's true nature.  Some of the features consist of a stretched face like the characters in the Soundgarden Black Hole Sun video as well as collogen lips, a fake tan, a big diamond ring on the left finger, and a $350 hair style.  Also, the species makes a particularly, unmistakable sound.  This species is a COUGAR..........RRRRWWWWWAAAAAAAWWRRRRR!!!!!
http://video.aol.com/video/tv-the-cougar-den-saturday-night-live/2105888

April 14th, 2008

Today is a great day.  I mean every day is a great day if you're happy to just be alive, but some days tower over other days for the mere fact that something ginormous is happening.  And today, something ginormous is definately taking place.  You see, today is the offical kick off of Two Legged Dear Hunting Season.  Ah, well, I see you are confused.  Let me simplify this for you.  Today is the day that we officially kicked off the KISW Rock Girl Search.  Yes.   And I have attatched a photo of a baby gir' I ran into saturday night in a club who announced her desire to be a KISW Rock Girl.  Her name is jen.  Good luck, Jen.  By the way, I'm hammered in this photo after a long day of snowboarding.  I should have already been in bed, but you know how it is...


April 10th, 2008

It seems that yesterday's post has helped us make some progress in this important search for the missing link.  Immediately, we've had possible leads of IT'S whereabouts.  No clue, or lead, can ever be determined as eroneous when such an elusive entity is at large.  In fact, this photo posted here is evidence that, even if this isn't Leonard, he is having a major influence on the amount of Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners bought from Safeway.


April 9th, 2008

The elusive qualities of the missing link can never be underestimated.  We have tried arduously to track down the animal known as the "Leonard", but to no avail.  The search  has led us to a very frustrated place where now a bit of desperation is beginning to become apparent.  Which has led us to explore many different avenues that we may have previously overlooked.  The next step in this process is to distribute flyers, post wanted signs on telephone poles and we've even created a design to print on t-shirts that we plan on giving out at a local "where's Leonard" fundraiser to help pay for the costs of a private investigator.  I've taken the liberty to show you the design for the t-shirt here.  We appreciate any leads can send our way.


April 8th, 2008

This entry is for anyone who ever believed that Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady was a fake.  It was at the Mariners opening day broadcast that Glen the Toolbox from the BJ Shea Morning Experience videotaped this excerpt of Monica doing her thing.  You'll see, first hand, that there is no faking whatsoever.  She does, indeed, nearly have an orgasm when she hears loud noises.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNiVGiicbNE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5CxdRaBwgU

April 7, 2008

I write this entry with a massive infliction.  The infliction, was indeed, self induced.  So I blame no one, but myself, for the pain and suffering I have incurred on this monday.  For this past weekend, Las Vegas, Nevada, was my place of unrest.  And I have the pictures to prove it.  So I shall let them do the talking because, God knows, I'm in no shape to instead write the 1,000 words.  Now, where the hell did I leave my camera...hmmm. 


April 3rd, 2008

Monday was opening day of Mariner's baseball and we threw quite a rager at the pyramid alehouse and brewery.  It's always fun to get AFTER it with my Gangsters on site and all the pictures are posted at KISW.com if you wanna see what you missed.  However, two of the elusive photos that didn't make it cam from my personal camera and I've taken the liberty to include them here for your private viewing.  One is of the Way High Window guy doing what he does best, which is displaying his voyeuristic tendencies on Monica The Rubber Chicken Lady's big, fat, giant, juicy, jiggly Kickballs.  The other is Sir Isaac Lime with the president of the Sir Isaac Lime Fan Club.  Enjoy!


March 27th, 2008

sometimes, I like to share letters from my listeners.  Especially, when they have great ideas that pertain to the show.

Hey Ricker,

2 things. It would be fun to do Extreme Makeover The Leonard edition. Go over to his palce, hook him up with a new sound system, new TV, New furniture, bed, maybe some sheets and a freezer full of frozen Salisbury steaks.

I've attatched, yet, another potential sighting of what could be Leonard, however, I find this photo suspect as the subject seems much younger, and nubile, than a 45 year old man.


March 26th, 2008

The Buffalo Theory - In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this. 
  'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. 
  In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

March 25th, 2008

The story continues....  After your boy got AFTER some surf in the Cruz, my Home Skillets and I championed the city of San Fran and got AFTER it on saturday night.  Sunday was designated a day of curing a hangover, but the hotel wouldn't give us a late checkout as late as we wanted, so we were slung out onto the streets.  Making the best of it, though, as you'll see from the accompanying photos, sightseeing seemed a much better call then holing up in some strange bar.  It was a beautiful day at the Golden Gate Bridge, but as we celebrated 4:20 at a drum circle in golden Gate Park, we'd realized that making our way around the city was the better call.

March 24th, 2008

Another kick ass weekend I did have.  Indeed.  Oh yes, indeed.  Indeed, I did...alright enough of the crap, let's get to the facts.  I did a testimonial (commercial) for Virgin America airlines and they gave me a free round trip to San Francisco for the weekend.  So, once upon arrival, I jetted straight for Santa Cruz where my 2 best friends from back home in Pensacola happen to, coincidentally, live.  Now, you're asking yourself, "why in the hell did he do that when he could have gone to SF to get AFTER it?"  Well, one simple answer.  Surf.  When you're raised in florida, that's what you do during the day if you don't fish, ride bulls, or drink.  Well, strike the last one. 


March 20th, 2008

Last night, I had the pleasure of sitting courtside at the Seattle Supersonics game that had been a scheduled event for me for months.  It was the final game for Ricker's Bangin' Night Out, a promotion that allowed my newest Gangster, James Sloboden of Puyallup, to view the game from the hardwood as he sat next to me and a baby gir'.  Little did I know when I saw the Pheonix Suns on the schedule months ago, that Shaquille O'Neal would have been traded to the team before this game.  And all I have to say is that, besides the Sonics Dance Team being stocked with some of the city's hottest baby gir's, Shaq is the biggest man I've ever seen.  Bar None.  I've stood next to NFL players in their prime, MLB players in their prime, and none of them compare to the monstrocity that is Shaq.  That dudes feet were the size of my legs, Man.  He's Burl Ives.  The game was even pretty competetive for 3 quarters, too.  And I got AFTER it at the bar with some ice, cold Jaegies.  A good night at the key, indeed!  But, damn, that is one sizey kid, Broskishskosh.

March 19th, 2008

We're getting hot on the tracks of the missing link!  By now you're well aware that the cause for this radio show is to expose the world to the mystery that is the Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinner Connoisseur, Leonard.  I believe the public has the right to know who this man of mystique is and what his appearance has taken the form of after years of dining only on these frozen confections.  Indeed, we have many investigators on the job showing the tenacity and diligence of a community during an Amber Alert.  We must get a picture of this man...potential beast.  And a few more possible sightings have reached this office.  Here are the results we've received recently from this search.


March 18th, 2008

This one's for the Workin' man!  I know all you responsible, ass busters are out there bustin' your hump to make that paper, and you don't always get the recognition you deserve.  I know how it is.  I labored for years, Man.  I've done some very undesireable jobs in my day and most of them are thankless.  Especially when your boss is a prick and he deems it necessary to take his problem with getting sufficient ass out on you.  You just wanna say, "get laid, Dude", but you know he won't take it very well, so you refrain.  Work kinda sucks.  You get up at the crack of dawn only to go drive your back into the ground and all you get when you get home is a bunch of bitchin.  You don't get paid what you deserve--it's a never ending story.  So, I just want you to know that this one individual who does a radio show knows what it's about and has a massive amount of admiration for you.  Keep it up, Gangster.  Your reward will be coming your way soon.  World.

March 17th, 2008

Happy St. Patricks day, Hugantic Ballers!  I love the holiday because I love my ass a good party.  Not to mention, the Irish are the one, if not the only,  nationality at which you can still poke fun and not be accused of being politically incorrect.  Not even by the Irish themselves.  I mean, I wouldn't say anything to the red faced, loud mouthed, beligerantly drunk Irish guy down the bar from you, but you get what I'm saying.  Basically, I can play Irish Enchilada calls all day and not get my ass kicked by a lynch mob when I leave the radio station.  The only complaint I have today is this; which drunk ass Irish alchoholic decided to have St. Patty's day on a Monday this year.  Way to go Genius!  Like I'm feeling just dried out and healthy after a bangin' weekend.  Geez Louise.  By the way, I'm Irish.  Haaaaaaaaarsh...and I will rally!

March 13th, 2008


Everybody loves to hang out with someone famous.  I guess.  I mean, I hang out with Walter Kelley from Q13 Fox News at 10 and I think it's very cool.  He gets recognized everywhere we go and no one knows who I am.  He's on tv and I'm on the radio.  They see him.  They hear me.  It's when I open my mouth that causes ears to perk up.  But it's fun to tell your friends that you hammed and hawed with someone of notoriety, right.  Well, here's your chance.  Go back to my page and sign up for Ricker's Bangin' Night Out and win a hip experience at Key Arena as we'll sit courtside like Jay Z and Beyonce for the Sonics game against the Pheonix Suns.  Gangster style.  Right next to the Sonics Dance Team...boooooooiiiiiiiiinnnnngggg!!!  Walter Kelley not included.  Thank God.  That guy gets all the attention. 

March 12th, 2008

The search for Leonard continues.  Now, it seems, for now, he's discontinued his calls, most likely because he feels the pressure of the media bearing down on him.  We are hot on his tracks and potential sightings have been popping up on a regular basis.  People want to know who he is and what he looks like.  The public demands it.  I have attatched a picture of what could be a sighting of Leonard with the CEO of Banquet Frozen Dinners.

March 11th, 2008

Today is the first time we've heard from the Golem in several weeks and now we know why.  He's been staying out of the public spotlight, conniving a plan to, once again, hold possession of the almighty ring.  We all know that Trash Hauler holds the ring around his neck on a chain, and that Golem has been painstakingly attempting several plots to steal that powerful jewel.  But his plans have not come to fruition.  Not until now.  It seems that he has devised the most engenius idea yet and has been implementing his strategy whilst our attention has been diverted to other things like the Rubber Chicken Lady and Leonard.  Meanwhile, Trash Hauler has become weekened by the ring's powers as he tries to hold on.  Even Vito No Sleevo seems to have been manipulated by the eveil powers of the ring in his overwhelming urge to squeeze as many giant, juicy, jiggly kickballs as possible.  He's the head of Trash Hauler's security force and the Golem has had a keen eye on this sloppy operation.  This does not all bode well for us.  Take heed!


March 10th, 2008


This is for the Snow lovers.  A classification into which I fall.  You see, Saturday was suposed to be one of the greatest days of my life.  If you ride, you know what I mean.  My buddy, weatherman Walter Kelley from Q13 Fox News at Ten, and I, had a reservation with Cascade Powdercats to take the machines up to the fresh pow-pow for a day of virgin powder.  Much to our dismay, rain fell instead of snow on friday night and our trip was cancelled.  Oh............tragedy.  What to do?  Well, this is where hanging with a weatherman has it's advantages.  Walter says, "you know the front was running a little south, which may have left some cool air coming off the south end of Mt. Ranier.  And Crystal Mountain may have ended up with a little snow."  That was all I needed to hear to save the day.  We bolted straight for Enumclaw en route to Crystal where the staff hooked up with VIP style and we had the great luxury of testing out the brand new chair called Northway.  The lifties were cool as hell as we celebrated high noon on a bluebird day.  Kudos to Crystal Mountain! (Notice the Sick goggles from the good people at Anon and the sweet Lib Tech board from Extremely Board in Issaquah)


March 6th, 2008

The name is not Richter.  It's that simple.  Just as one caller today explained, some people, very possibly, believe there is an invisible "t" in the name just as there is an invisible "e" in the word "like".  You see the "e", but you don't pronounce it.  It's grammar.  They don't see the "t", yet feel compelled to pronounce it anyway.  I made it very clear to everyone listening.  If you're going to mis-pronounce my name, at least do it with a degree of dignity and show some respect in an effort to make a meaningful statement.  If it's not going to be Ricker and you're insistent on pronouncing it Richter, at least do me the honor of adding a "d" at the end.  "Richter" is an insult.  "Rick-Turd" is, indeed, a compliment.

March 5th, 2008

THIS IS A LETTER FROM A REAL KISW ROCKAHOLIC:

Hey Bro!

I think I got a glimpse of the elusive Leonard today! While scoping out a handful of Safeway stores with hidden cameras set up in the frozen food sections, I captured this image today that I thought a bit peculiar. It looked to be a figure wearing a greasy old wife beater pushing a cart full of stuff, (see picture "Safeway1"). After careful examination the figure looked to have something in their hand. I blew the image up and low and behold the image looks to be carrying a Banquet Dinner. Possibly a Salisbury steak dinner I have to wonder? (Picture "Safeway1_enlarged"). My excitement soon turned to wonderment as I decided to do a little surfing on the net. I ran across the third picture attached, ("Leonard") and see way too similarities with my Safeway photos. So this all brings up some very curious questions....

1). Have I captured a picture of the elusive Leonard in Safeway filling up on those scrumptious Salisbury Steak TV dinners?

2). Is it possible Bigfoot shops at Safeway and also enjoys those scrumptious Salisbury Steak TV dinners?

3). Could the elusive Leonard and Bigfoot be one in the same???

What you think Bro? Is it possible we have our first glimpse of the elusive Leonard here? Maybe posting this little story and pics might bring the beast out of hiding???

Keep up the good work Bro and Rock on!
Tim


YOU BE THE JUDGE...


March 4th, 2008

Monica hates Isaac

Another run in with Monica the Rubber chicken lady today.  Man, her personality fluctuates like the clouds in the sky.  One day she loves me like a bee loves a flower and then the next hates me like lightning to a steel pole.  I can take it, trust me, I have thick skin.  You have to in this business.  However, today, she took a stab at Sir Isaac Lime and the entire continuing sage known as All My Otter Pops.  Basicall, calling my baby ugly.  Not that I mind, but I worry about that little green furry guy and how he'll handle the criticism.  We'll have to find out when he calls in next for another edition of the ongoing daytime drama.  World!

March 3rd, 2008

back from vacation

I'm back.  And I have to be honest with you, I'm not all that thrilled, but who the hell is when they return from 80 degree weather.  Seriously, yesterday, I sat poolside with a Bloody Mary overlooking the Tampa skyline, soaking up piercing rays of the sun on my lightly perspiring face and asked myself, "what the hell is so important about returning to Seattle to face the bitter cold?"  Then a set of giant juicy jiggly kickballs went bouncing by and I pondered the question further.  "I could easily liquidate my belongings and move to the beach, drink bloody mary's daily and turn into a golden brown, like I did before I moved to Seattle."  And uickly, the answer came to me, just as it had many times before when i was about to return.  It was simple.  I work for the greatest rock station in the world with the greatest rock fans in the world.  I love what I do.  Fuck the weather, it's secondary to how I value my life and the people I surround myself with.  And as I opened the microphone this morning for the first time in over a week, it was made even more obvious.  I could do this job anywhere else, but it wouldn't be the same.  That's a true statement.

February, 20th, 2008

A Star Is Born

We have a new character on the show that, as far as I know, no other show in America can rival.  He's got talent America and his mane...er, I mean name, is Budward!  Yes, this crooning canine and his friend, Mouse, have taken people's hearts by storm through the performance of music.  It's very simple, Mouse blows his mouth harp and budward catches a note.  And today, not only did Mouse grace the studio with ice cold Tropical (new flavors) Otter Pops, but he brought dear 'ol Budward in to share a ditty.  And he did not fail to please.  As Mouse kicked down that number, Budward just fell into the groove and yelped and hollered as if he were performing at the Grand Ole Opry.  Hooray for Budward!  By the way, he smelled like he's been on the tour bus without a shower for 3 weeks.


February 18th, 2008

Deaf Cat Dan has a gift for the Rock Angel.  Oh yes.  We all know of the envy that the Rock Angel carries for Monica, the Rubber Chicken Lady , for her ability to achieve orgasmic levels of joy from squeaky toys.  Is there, however, a toy that can help the Rock Angel achieve these same great heights?  Well, maybe.  You see, Deaf Cat Dan, formerly known as Dead Bird Dan, is notorious for blowing off the Air Horn.  And this could be the exact surprise that she needs.  After all, he went to jail for causing the near death of a cat that was taking a blissful nap on his front porch when he surprised the poor animal with the air horn in it's unsuspecting ear.  The cat's owner, Deaf Cat Dan's neighbor, came over swinging and had him incarcerated.  So the question is, can Deaf Cat Dan now bring joy and happiness with the infamous Air Horn?  We'll see, won't we?

February 13th, 2008

How can Leonard deny himslef the finer delicacies in life?  People want to know what the guy looks like.  They want to know what he's about.  he has fans and they demand his presence.  In fact, his most zealous fan, Nowhere Man, has made an offer that he can't refuse.  Not only will this rabid Leo-maniac buy him 15 Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners and bring them to Legends (the only bar Leonard has been to in the past 4 years), but he'll sing Neon Knights at High Noon.  Well, maybe there is a problem with this offer, but at least it's Neon Knights, Leonards favorite song?  Come on Leonard, break the hibernation!

February 11th, 2008

Does Monica's reaction to squeaky toys have a residual effect on other listeners?  This is a technical question that I've recently been asking myself.  Is there a physiological reaction in some listeners due to the sounds that Monica The Rubber Chicken Lady releases during her exasperated response to the Rubber Chicken, the Rubber Alien, etc?  And the reason this issue has come to light is due to the perceived envy displayed by one of my regular callers, the Rock Angel.  She vehemently denies having any jealous feelings whatsoever about the good times that Monica seemingly experiences in her high pitched, breathless reaction, but it's pretty obvious to me that the Rock Angel wishes she could share the "love".  Well, in my professional opinion, the Rock Angel could use a little bit of what Monica has, which is an unbridled sensation of reaching orgasm over the radio.  Maybe if she could experience a portion of this fantastic feeling, she wouldn't be putting Monica down and could throw those anxiety pills in the garbage.  Hell, I'm jealous!

February 6th, 2008

Very simply, Leonard is the subject of this blog entry.  People want to know what he looks like.  No one knows.  He won't leave the house for any event other than to grocery shop with his dad for Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners.  If he would disclose the location of the Safeway where he shops, then we'd possibly be able to set up a secret camera in the frozen food isle in the hopes of catching a photograph of him just as that "one dude" did when he spotted the Sasquatch.  However, Leonard is even more elusive.  Maybe we could track him like the Sasquatch, but no one has spotted any poop on the sidewalk in West Seattle.  Yes, Leonard is truly a mystery, so I've taken it upon myself to attatch a photograph of what I think he may look like.  Just add about 178 pounds.


February 4th, 2008

What a kick ass weekend it was!  After a great day of powder at Stevens Pass, the New Originals played our first gig that was outside of a KISW event.  Normally, we only come to the stage at the Holiday Hangover Ball, or the Rock girl Gala, but saturday night we got after it at a good ol' throw down bar.  Steve the Thrill Hill, Steve Rock, Steve the Producer--insert bad Starbucks commercial here with the old Survivor song "Eye Of the Tiger"...Steve...Steve Steve Steve...Steve Steve Steve...Steve Steve Steeeeeeeve---Ryan Castle, Jolene, and everyone else played an hour set at Jules Maes in Georgetown to an explosive crowd.  Needless to say, we rocked the joint hardcore.  And then the Game.  Are you kidding?  The BJ Shea Morning Experience hosted the best Superbowl party in the city only to see the best game ever played on the worldwide stage.  Topshelf's girlfriend was hammered showing her Big, Fat, Giant, Juicy, Jiggly Kickballs and my limo looked like it had hydraulics for about 20 minutes, if you know what I mean (insert image of Baby Gir' here).  Why can't every weekend be that great?

January 31st, 2008

Last night was a weird one at the pass.   I hammed and hawed all day about whether, or not, I should drive up to the Summit At Snoqualmie to do some night snowboarding.  The clock was ticking and finally I just said, "The hell with it.  I'm goin' up!"  So I gathered my gear and hit it.  No prob, right.  Negative.  The first run of the day, some guy who was barrelling down the hill out of control nearly took me out.  I caught him out of the corner of my eye at the last split second, barely able to divert a major collision, but he clipped me with his board.    My leg hurt like a bitch, on the front left shin, but I kept riding for three more runs.  Finally, I said to myself, "Damn, I need to take a look at this leg."  So, I went into the lodge and lifted up the leg of my pants, which had a two inch rip, by the way, and had a laceration of about an inch.  About that time, someone comes in and announces that the pass is closed for the night.  What the hell!  How the hell am I gonna get home?!  "Well," the patrol guy says, "you may have to sleep in your car.  However, you should probably get a stitch in your leg."  Haaaaarsh.  There was an avalanche over I-90 and no one was getting through.  So, I go up and ride some more, bleeding profusely through my sock and long johns. Until, at the lift, this cat announces, "They're letting some cars through the pass, detoured through the opposite side of the rode.  Hurry up!"  So, I got after it.  And made it through.  And lived to tell about it on the air today.  A near harrowing experience.

January 28th, 2008

Apology accepted!!!

Thank God!  After so many words have been thrown into so many directions causing a maelstrom of hurt feelings and regrets, we finally have some closure to this daytime drama we've been experiencing between Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady and Leonard.  It pained me to see these beloved regulars on my show jibbing and jabbing needlessly at one another.  All for what?  There was never anything to gain from putting someone down.  And I believe that all parties involved recognize that now and everyone has learned a valuable lesson.  Finally, Monica had the decency to call up and officially apologize to Leonard and Nowhere Man, too.  she was legitimately sorry for letting her pride become so swollen that she allowed her emotions to get the best of her.  As we all know, though, she is a woman of sound mind and once she coolded down, her rationale prevailed.  All hail Monica for making the peace.  Now let the healing begin!

January 24th, 2008

As you know, much of what I do on the air should be taken with a grain of salt.  In fact, many of the characters are actors.  Take the situation with the Trash Hauler and the Ring with the Elvish inscription.  We pretend that the Golem wants the ring more than anything and he cries and moans over the loss of the most "Precious" thing he ever owned.  We pretend that the Trash Hauler actually has the ring from the Lord of the Rings films.  However, it is all an act.  Trash hauler does have a ring that he keeps around his neck, but it's only a pretend ring.  And Golem is an actor.  That's why we, along with Blind Melon Chitlan who is part of Trash Hauler's security force with Vito No Sleevo, decided to pose for a picture just as a cast would do before a movie premiere.  Enjoy! and let the illusion continue!


January 22nd, 2008

The Heat is on!  Never in my illustrious career have I see such a heated backlash of words between two listeners.  It's a typical case of  "he said/she said", literally.  In case you haven't been listening, Leonard made the mistake of spouting off some things that were on his mind about Monica, the Rubber Chicken Lady and the recourse has been drastic.  "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman's scorn!"  She's responded with a mountain of harsh words for Leonard and then she dragged one of the newest characters, Nowhere Man, into the mix.  Nowhere Man is just a fan of Leonard, but in Monica's mind, is an ally.  Therefore, she lumped him in with the Frozen Salisbury Steak connoisseur's crew and laid down some very harsh words, calling them both dorks.  Someone is going to have to succumb to kindness, or this could unravel into something that makes the headlines!

January 16th, 2008

We've had some interesting developments on the air this week.  It seems as though something in Leonard, our regular Frozen Salisbury Steak  connoissuer, has been awakened, and it's not the monster in his swollen belly.  No, it's a jealous factor, a turn of resentment that has been directed toward Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady.  And the war of words is on!  Leonard, unlike himself, has officially called Monica a Bitch.  Monica has called Leonard un-hygenic.  Each of them have displayed feelings for the other that have never been exposed previously.  Usually, these two mainstays on the show are quite pleasant to the other callers, but something has brewed within the peaceful regulars.  The line has been drawn.  And how it will play out is yet to be seen.  Stay tuned, Gangsters and Gir's.

January 14th, 2008

We have the result.  The Hawks got blown out and this is not how I had hoped to begin this blog.  And I can't blame the officials.  This morning on the BJ Shea Morning Experience, I spoke with Chad Eaton about the game and he recalled a statement that I had made last week.  It was that I expected for there to be some calls in question because of the slanted favoritism of those that wanted to Packers to move on compared to the Seahawks.  This did not happen.  What did happen was that the Hawks fell flat on defense.  And Brett Favre played an amazing game, doing what he had to do to fire up his team and get points on the board.  They spotted us 14.  We ended up getting pounced 42-6 after that.  It sucked.  Hey, let's focus on the postive, now we have another reason to get hammered and announce to the world that life is not fair.  I'm still very happy about the fact that we don't live in DC, though.  At least we lived another week.  And it was fun to have 2 playoff games while many other cities sat on the sidelines watching.  Here's to next season!

January  9th, 2008

While we are on the subject, let's talk about the Seahawks.  I know, we weren't on the subject, but why the hell wouldn't we.  So maybe you're reading this after Saturday's NFC Playoff with the Packers has already been played.  If so, you will be compelled to read this because it you're looking to continue the celebration of victory, or wallow in the misery of defeat.  However, I'm not going to discuss that game any longer.  No.  I wish to take the credit and live in each moment of a continuing season from the great, exciting win over the Redskins last weekend.  People who love sports are too quick to move on to the next conquest without properly acknowledging the accomplishment that most recently happened.  Saturday was an atomic day.  Playoff wins don't come easy and they don't happen very often.  Think about how badly people in DC would love to be living for another game.  They can't.  They can only watch us play for glory.  I'm glad it's them.  Therefore, I wish not to look forward to a potential ending to our entertaining season, but to live in the present.  Magestic in the confidence of victory.  And...I have to give props to one of  the greatest Seahawks fans of all time, 12th Man Mike who get's After It every week just down the alley from the Krispy Kreme.  Here's a photo of your Gangster with him before the game.  Then, there are a couple pictures of me with one of my best friends, Walter Kelley from Q13 Fox News at 10, and Matt Wild from the social networking site, www.runwild.com.  Go Hawks!!!

January 3rd, 2008

Happy New Year

Well it's that time again when we all make promises to ourselves that we're going to change certain habits that we find undesireable. These are called new years resolutions. It's usually during the month of December, about the time that we're loading in an extra ladelfull of Hamburger Helper that we make the pledge to either begin a better workout regiment, stop watching so much porn (if you're a guy), or stop watching so many reality/celebrity shows (if you're a chick), or to just plain begin eating better. However, January comes sonner than expected and your confronted with the task you were so eager to embark on only a few weeks earlier. It's the constant struggle to prove to ourselves and society that we can improve with a little bit of effort. And we usually mean it. The problem is, though, that by the time you reach your mid-thirties, there aren't too many resolutions that you haven't already made once, or twice. I mean, how many times have you tried to quit smoking? The sad fact is this. Come February, we all come to the harsh realization that we just love the hell out of Hamburger Helper and never want to live without it again. Happy New Year!

December 18th, 2007

Last week I was sick.  And out of the 5 years that I've been employed here at the Rock, it was the first time I've taken 3 consecutive days from the airwaves.  Now, there are some of you out there that think that, possibly, I played hooky.  Which is another animal all together.  And hooky is the improper term for taking this sick time.  Hooky was what you did in high school when you went to first period and then slid under the fence only to meet some friends and go to someones house to get drunk.  Possibly, you invited a couple chicks and then you played quarters.  Why did you have to play a game to get drunk?  I don't know.  Why did we play Chutes and Ladders instead of Chess?  Anyway, if you were on your game, or the baby Gir's were underclassmen, you got some action in the little sister's bedroom.  I digress.  The term is not Hooky for missing work due to illness.  If anything, it should be called "called in sick due to a hangover".  And if you call in 3 days of illness because of a hangover, you're too old and you need to slow down, Cowboy.  No, I was legitimately ill.  And to be honest, sitting at home watching the Price is Right with a fever blows.  It may work for Leonard, but I'd rather be rockin' in the studio with my Gangsters.

November 26th, 2007

I don't mean to be negative, but...  I don't mean to sound like I'm raining on everyone's parade, but...  I don't wanna be the guy who had the Wheaties that were pissed in for breakfast, but...  I'm going to be that guy.  And maybe you'll agree with me and thank me for being that guy, because you don't want to have to be that guy.  You can just tell the next person who brings this particular issue up with you to go to Ricker's Kickblog and read this entry to make your point so you don't have to.   Ok, now on to the subject that's going to make me appear to be a jerk.  Thanksgiving.  Not the holiday itself, I love the holiday.  Who doesn't love gorging themselves  on meat, potatoes and gravy, only to retire to the couch for a football induced coma?  I have no problem at all with the tradition.  It's what happens the next day for the following week.  It's the first question that you're asked to start every conversation on which you find yourself embarking.  And that question is, "How was your Thanksgiving?"  I mean, is it really itching into your inquisitive emptiness that bad to where you have to ask everyone you come into contact with?  And do you really expect a thorough answer?  And isn't every answer the same?  Yes.  Every answer is the same.  I mean what could be so compelling about getting fat and passing out?  Nothing.  However, 9 out of 10 people I've confronted for the past 5 days have asked me the same question, "How was your Thanksgiving?"  "It was nice, how was yours?"  "Mine was nice", you'll answer.  "Good".  "Good".  The conversation will begin there and you already know the rest.  So let's save ourselves some time and just skip to the important stuff, ok?  See, I told you I was gonna be "that" guy.



November 21st, 2007

This past week has been very special for me.  It's not every day that you get to celebrate your success in what you do for a living, so my 5 year anniversary was, indeeed, an extremely sentimental day.  To have the Rockaholics as a part of the greatness of this great rock radio station is very mea